YOU MUST SEE THIS

http://www.nbc.com/Saturday_Night_Live/video/clips/digital-short-j-in-my-pants/866262/

(cut & paste into browser)

Saturday Night Live

(This picture was blatantly stolen from NBC.com but only with true love in my heart for Seth Meyers.)

OK so Student Librarian has yet to discuss her favorite show of all time, and that would be Saturday Night Live.  Unfortunately I am unable to stay awake that late so I DVR the shows & I just saw the John Malkovich show (Yes, I'm behind!) and I thought it was quite brilliant.  The best Digital Short (can't really call it a skit) goes to Andy for "I Jizzed in my Pants".  My god, I almost choked on my Patron shot!  The next award goes to Fred for a three-way tie with 1. Obama: I play it cool. 2. The Butt-right strip commercial. 3. Boy George.  I also LOVED "all I want is a calculatah!"  Good lord, why doesn't Malkovich do more comedy?  He's really freakin funny!  I love the new girls, I think they're great but man I will lament the loss of Amy Pohler.  A special shout out goes to my boyfriend Seth Meyers....you can do it!  And I loved you & fred....hilarious!  

Student Librarian gives this performance an A.  

CHESTER

Height: 13 inches

Weight: 40 lbs.

Age: 7

Turn ons: food

Turn offs: no food

Favorite Artist: Emeril

Favorite Channel: Food Network

Favorite Chef: Anthony Bourdain

Favorite Book: Anything by Julia Child

Favorite Movie: Diner

Favorite Show: Rachel Ray

Person would like most to meet: Paula Dean

Favorite Blog: Chocolate & Zucchini

 

In case your wondering what Student Librarian's parents look like, well there you go.  Please click on the pictures for a really good view.  It goes like this:

Jim + Mom = (Super) Student Librarian (Please don't tell the cops)

Rufus DeAngelo

Height: 13 inches

Weight: 25 lbs

Eyes: Light Brown

Fur: Brindle

Turn Ons: Food, spooning with Mommy, wiggling when excited.

Turn Offs: late dinners, the cat on the bed, Booger growling at me.

Favorite book: Profiles in Courage, by John Fitzgerald Kennedy.

Favorite Song: Return to Me, Dean Martin.

Favorite Movie: When Harry met Sally.

The Omen

This is Rosie Charmical and her Daddy (Mr. Student Librarian).  She's our youngest baby and a chewing hell-beast.  

The Barry Report:

Last night Barry got so high he lit his grill inside his apartment stairwell because it was raining, and cooking some ribs was a major priority at the time.  So everyone who lives there thought their building was on fire because smoke was pouring under their doors.  According to Bruce the ribs were really good.     

Meet The Infamous Andrea

Andrea, An Overview

1. Angry--no elaboration needed

2. Unorganized--you should see her car

3. Chaotic--It takes 5 minutes to cover 25 different topics

4. Hungry--Will do ANYTHING for ice cream

5. Easily Influenced--took me & tasha ridin' dirty

6. Hilarious--trust me on this

7. Righteous--Sister Mary Andrea is her nickname

8. Tax-Driven--Who does your taxes? 

9. Breakin--loves movies about break dancing

10. Energetic--has about 6 active businesses

Barry

This is my favorite neighbor Barry.  These are the top ten reasons I love him so much: 

1. Barry has a spill down his shirt, but because he smoked a pound of weed, he can't remember why he's upset.

2. Barry likes my dogs.

3. Barry kept me from falling into poop last derby.

4. Barry's former girlfriend's name was "Money".

5. Barry's current girlfriend's name is "Cupcake".

6. Barry gets off work at 5:00 PM everyday & is high by 5:01.

 7. Barry watches out for us.

8. Barry is the youngest of 17 kids, like me.

9. Barry has a standard Derby Hair Style.

10. Barry shares in our hatred of our                                                                                                          hairy neighbor.

New Points of Interest

1.  You can buy Riesling in a box. (This is great news for us distinguished drinkers in the hood.)

2. Senor Iguanas probably has better salsa than Los Aztecas.  

3. Turns out my job isn't so bad since I have one & all.

4. I have a new favorite show called "Mad Men".

5. I am very, very, very close to being finished with this semester.

6. Obie Wan Kentucky is getting rotund.  

Fuc$ An A

I have great friggen news about my StepDad James Richard Kaiser and my father-in-law William Jennings Aiken, and the fact that they are CANCER Frigging FREE!!!!!! Yes, thank GOD, JESUS, THE HOLY SPIRIT, St. Jude, ANGELS, ST. MICHAEL THE ARCHANGEL who defends us in battle and every other thing driving us insane..... and the fact that they forgive me for cussing like a friggin sailor that these friggin hero's still walk among us is friggin AMAZING!!!

James Richard Kaiser served this country during the Korean War, he was stationed in Japan. He is a retiree from FORD. (P.S. I've never owned a car that wasn't an AMERICAN made car.) He kicked non-hodgekins Lymphoma in the anus about 5 years ago. He attended 6 months of radiation and then went to play golf afterwards. Suck on that cancer! Now he's surviving life with one kidney and he's looking as sexy as ever. So go farg yourself stupid frigging tumor!

Williams Jennings Aiken, you served the US during WWII while being stationed in the Phillipeans. You were shot, almost died from from Malaria and saw so many of your friends die. And I love you for it. God bless you. Now at 85 you have been diagnosed with colon cancer, had major surgery and kicked its Anus ALL OVER THE PLACE! We are celebrating Thanksgiving in a new way this year!

Jim nor Bill never complained, they both put their fates in God's hands. They both appreciated their lives and loved their families. This is whole different breed of men. I love you Stepdad & Dad-in-law. My Dad is very happy I have you.  (This entry is abridged...I removed all cuss words so my mum wouldn't yell at me)

Tomorrow Big Day

So tomorrow my stepdad is getting his kidney removed because he has a tumor growing on it. Everyone say a prayer for him. He beat lymphoma, and hopefully tomorrow night he'll be cancer free again. I love you Jim! You're the best stepdad in the world.

Work is getting better. Dang, I hesitate to say that! Igor is currently leaving me alone and that's good news!

Duke's of Hazard Weddin'

Holy Flippin Crap!

Student Librarian figured out how to add pictures. YEY!!!! This is Worldfest 2008. Daniel Boone is not really standing on Natasha's noggin. The girl on the far right is looking for husband #1. Her name is Jenny, she is a Virgo and would like to sell you some Mary Kay. My husband & I drank ourselves around the world that day, we represent Ireland and Scotland so we did it up right.

I freakin love the weekends. I had to go to Lexington today for my 601 class but my professor is fun so it went by fast. I'm also making friends with classmates. Student Librarians are cool. I took a picture of the William T. Young Library because no one believes that it's as big as a flippin stadium.

Meet THE STUDENT LIBRARIAN

I've morphed.

Ever get to the point where your ready to have a complete nervous breakdown? Meet me, the crusader for those with legal problems and a flippen sense of where to find a lot of friggen reference materials. I am .....THE STUDENT LIBRARIAN and if your reading this....we will out-reference, out-research, out-archive and teach your children how to dewey better than you ever dreamed of.  Hey, check out my liquor cabinet on the left!

Rosie Carmichael's Cold Ya'll!

Images Corrupt

I'm seriously trying to get you guys a picture of my life but I keep getting a "image corrupt" message. LOLOLOLOLOL I'm totally frustrated, don't get me wrong but I'm trying to show everyone pictures of my dogs. I mean like not in any compromising positions or anything. Anyway, picture this....I have to meet with Deputy Mayor Summers on Tuesday at 3:00. I'm totally going to get fired. I heard on the radio that you can not make a mortgage payment for a year & a half before you have to foreclose. Good to know!

Dear God

Top Ten Complaints of Week
1. Did not win lottery
2. My job has reached new levels of suckery
3. I am worried I am dying of a terrible disease
4. I drank coffee at 6:00 PM & will not sleep
5. Headache is actually brain tumor
6. I cannot fit under my bed to hide anymore
7. I do not have time to do nothing
8. My boss is the antichrist
9. Zit on left side of nose has reached volcano status
10. 170 mosquito bites which probably means West Nile Virus

DUDES AGAIN!!!

I decided to post again since I'm buzzed! Haaaaeeeyyyyyy!!!! (As my great friend and total hottie, Natasha always says)

I've made some very important changes in my life:

1. I've decided to listen to the "Pina Colada Song" everyday from here on out. I think that's important.
2. I will not make fun of my hairy neighbor anymore. Laser Hair Removal is a serious procedure and I will really try to not refer to him as Chubacca anymore.
3. I will continue to play the lottery in order to fufill my life dream of doing nothing everyday.
4. I will wear only designer clothes from now on, get anorexia and marry a Beastie Boy. I'm going to focus on Adam Horowitz. I realize he's married but I am too. I also realize he's Jewish and I'm Catholic. But I will convert. Seriously...Adam if your reading this....please call.

DUDES!

OK so Happy Saturday from the Hood! We just heard some gun shots about 2 houses down but don't worry, we're used to it! Anyway, we called the cops about a 2 hours ago & I'm quite sure they'll respond within a couple days.

So I know you've been asking yourself who was my first concert...right? Ok well...don't be jealous but it was ELO, in Lexington 1979!!!! Rupp Arena...and the band came down on stage on a hokey space ship and they rocked!!! Electric violins....get outta here!

Anyway, here's what's really sad...I saw them in 1992 at Coyote's in Louisville and the guitar player was trying to pick me up. I mean seriously...first of all, I was still pretty hot then but can't you do better? I mean, I hear your songs on like every other commercial. I guess you wanna know if I hit it? That's like asking if I'd hit my DAD, and I know this is Kentucky but NO! I like the elderly, but not in that way.

Major Crap Storm Lies Ahead

I hate my job. Why can't I be further along in my MLIS program? Maybe I can find something else soon. I'm trying to catch up with my classes. Enough whining. That's probably a relief to the zero amount of people who read my blog. Anyway, it sure is nice outside these days. I've been forcing myself to use my lunch hour by taking some great walks w/my bud Jenny. It's a great escape from Igor. She can't really go on walks with that leg dragging and I'm sure her hunchback bothers her.

Dear God,
Please let me win the lottery tonight.
Thanks,
Julia

Forecast: Warm & Sunny

I spent most of Monday under my office desk, rocking back & forth in fetal position waiting for the e-mail that would force me to report to my director's office where I would be tortured and put under hot lights. Guess what? Never happened. In fact I accidently crossed paths with the asst. director and she smiled & said, "Hey! How ya doin?" What the....? Then I realized that although I made a mistake I wasn't in trouble and Igor (my supervisor) was making the usual crap storm out of nothing again. Why do I let her get to me? Is it the bulging eyes? The half of eyebrow? The modified mullet? The way she drags one leg? I don't know.

On the brighter side of our destroyed city is that the weather is awesome, I slept great last night and my stomach is accepting solid foods again.

What to do during a hurricane in KY

I realize I'm a bit late in creating this but better late than never. Life has been insane. I officially detest my job as of last friday, when a candidate I made an offer to turned up with "Fugitive" on his record check along with 10 pages of other offenses including a felony. This person was lined up to be a Business Specialist for one of our financial departments. Needless to say, my supervisor (who resembles Igor from Young Frankenstein and is a female) dragged me into her office to inform me that the assistant director & director of HR (the dept. I work in) are highly p*ssed at me. Great. Just for future reference, sociopaths are really good at interviews. So I'm sitting here guzzling pepto bismol thinking about work tomorrow. If they fire me I hope it's early in the day so I can watch Springer.

My roof is officially dead thanks to the hurricane we had today.

OH....here's the good news of the day: I used my new bread machine today & made some rosemary olive oil bread. It's seriously good. And I made a pot of vegetable soup which is also easily digestible, which is all I'm requiring in food right now.