Dear God

Top Ten Complaints of Week
1. Did not win lottery
2. My job has reached new levels of suckery
3. I am worried I am dying of a terrible disease
4. I drank coffee at 6:00 PM & will not sleep
5. Headache is actually brain tumor
6. I cannot fit under my bed to hide anymore
7. I do not have time to do nothing
8. My boss is the antichrist
9. Zit on left side of nose has reached volcano status
10. 170 mosquito bites which probably means West Nile Virus